Greek Myth Roguelite, Sold On Nepotism
The pitch opens by comparing the game to three other games: "combines the best aspects of Supergiant's critically acclaimed titles, including the fast-paced action of Bastion, the rich atmosphere and depth of Transistor, and the character-driven storytelling of Pyre." That is a sentence written for games press in 2019, not for a shopper who has never heard of Pyre. The actual concept, a dead prince repeatedly stabbing his way out of his father's house while the family gossips about it, is far stronger than the resume, and it gets buried under a portfolio review. Also "god-like rogue-like" is a pun that should have died in the first draft.
FREE ADVICE
Lead the About section with the premise in one line ("You are the son of Hades, and you keep trying to run away from home") and move the Bastion/Transistor/Pyre credit to the end as a closing credential.
Your Paragraphs Are Fused Together
Look at your own store page: "the creators of Bastion, Transistor, and Pyre.BATTLE OUT OF HELL". And "each unique escape attempt.UNLEASH THE FURY OF OLYMPUS". And "this big, dysfunctional family.BUILT FOR REPLAYABILITY". Three missing line breaks on the most viewed indie page of the decade, sitting there like a coffee stain on a tuxedo. The writing itself is good, the subheads are correct, the mechanics are named (Boons, Mirror of Night, guardian bosses that remember you), but you promise "thousands of viable character builds" and then "thousands of unique story events" two beats apart, so the number stops meaning anything by the second use.
FREE ADVICE
Fix the three broken paragraph breaks in the BBCode so the headers do not fuse to the previous sentence, and change one of the two "thousands" claims to a concrete figure or a different specific.
Debug Watermarks Shipped With The Screenshots
Top left corner of screenshot one: "VO.23698". Screenshot four: "VO.19569". You shipped build stamps from two different pre-release versions into the hover tooltip, and nobody has cleaned them up in years. Beyond that, screenshot two of four is a dialogue box with Zagreus saying "Greetings, Father", which spends a prime tooltip slot on reading rather than on the boon selection screen that sells your entire "thousands of builds" claim. The capsule is genuinely excellent, a clean red slash through a black field with Zagreus and the Stygian Blade, readable at any size, so I will not pretend otherwise, but the shots behind it are inconsistent artifacts of an Early Access page.
FREE ADVICE
Recapture the first four screenshots from a current clean build with no version overlay, and swap one of them for a boon choice screen showing three god offers side by side.
Tag List Wastes Its Best Slots
Action Roguelike at 1330 votes is exactly right and the top three tags do their job. Then slot four is Indie, slot eight is Singleplayer, slot nine is Great Soundtrack. Three of your nine most valuable algorithm slots are filler that tells Steam nothing about who to show this to, and Isometric, the actual signature of the genre view, is stranded down at fourteen. The description also markets against Supergiant's own back catalog instead of against Dead Cells and Enter the Gungeon, the games your buyers were actually comparing you to at launch.
FREE ADVICE
Downvote Indie and Great Soundtrack and upvote Isometric and Character Action Game so the top eight tags are all sub-genre or mechanic tags.
No Demo, No Sequel, No Next Step
The page ends on "a blood-pumping original score bring the Underworld to life" and then nothing. No demo, no soundtrack bundle callout in the body copy, no line pointing anyone toward Hades II, no franchise pitch at all on a page that is one of the highest traffic storefronts Supergiant will ever own. Three hundred thousand positive reviews of free momentum and the final paragraph is a mood board. You are not asking the reader to do anything.
FREE ADVICE
Add a short closing block linking the Supergiant franchise hub, the soundtrack edition, and Hades II so the traffic on this page converts into the next purchase.
Great Page With Dirt Under Its Nails
Structurally this is close to a textbook page: five named subheads, real mechanics under each, a short description that states the genre and the verb ("hack and slash out of the Underworld") inside sixteen words, a capsule that survives thumbnail size, and eleven screenshots across four visually distinct biomes. Then you find the fused headers, the leftover build stamps, and Indie sitting in the fourth tag slot, and you realize nobody has touched this page since launch week. It is coasting on 300,949 positive reviews, which is a luxury 99 percent of pages will never have and is not an excuse for typos.
FREE ADVICE
Schedule one annual store page audit: fix formatting, refresh screenshots from the current build, and re-sort tags based on the last year of vote data.
